Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
