used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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