i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
