Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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