I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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