whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
