just come out here and I will go home with you...
she smelled like a LAN party
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
