Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
COCAINE IS GR8
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
