that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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