Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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