hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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