it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize