I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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