the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
