So drunk, too bad you don't want this
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
