you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Randomize
