last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
