Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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