I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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