Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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