Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Everyone says I win the strip club
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
