I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
