if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
