butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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