I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
