just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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