i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
