where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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