her vagine was all disorganized.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
