The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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