She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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