Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
