Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
