i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
