She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize