you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
