there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There's always time for handjobs
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
