Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize