loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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