So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
