just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
