The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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