My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
