shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize