It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
