so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
