I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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