hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
