then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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