1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
