My first STD was from a foam party
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
