she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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