I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
