i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm bleeding and have questions
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
