a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Randomize
