my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
