Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize