I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
