mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
