Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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