He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
