I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
