he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
